Having Discernment in the Hell-scape That is Short Form Spiritual Content

Hello and good morning my faithful readers! It has been nearly a year since my last entry. I apologize for this major inconsistency on my part. I recall that I had originally promised one entry per month at least. Needless to say, I've been going through a lot. Quick update on my life before we delve into today's topic… I will try to keep it brief as to not bore you all with the details. At the time of my last entry Covenient to Death Pt 1 (which has now been privated for revisions), I was having some health issues. I pushed through, moved house, and went back to class in the fall. I suffered a mental breakdown due to all the stress of everything. Next thing I knew, I was sick for almost a month straight. Ended up in the ER and discovered that my cancer had returned. I had to drop out of school and, since I am unable to work a regular job, I have found myself with ample free time. So here we are now!

I do not wish to dwell on my health issues, I simply wanted to clarify for you all what has kept me away from my keyboard.

That being said, expect semi regular posting from here on out. I won't promise any specific schedules or anything because I find that giving myself too many deadlines is a great way to make sure I don't write in this blog! Usually I try to do some research/outlining before I write these blogs, which takes time to do properly. In my opinion, there's nothing worse than a poorly informed blog post about witchcraft/occultism! It reflects poorly on the community as a whole.

Today's entry, however, is more of an opinion piece. Something simple to get me back in the saddle, so to speak.

As you can all imagine, my chaotic life has left me feeling a bit depressed on occasion. What does one do when they are depressed? Perhaps a bit of self medication….. Many, many hours of my life have been sucked away this past year by smoking weed and doomscrolling for hours. I neglected my body, my surroundings, my spiritual practice…. It was truly depressing. Honestly, I can't even tell you the majority of what I was watching on the evil, palantir that is my phone screen. It was all just short form content and garbage that completely severed me from reality. My brain was (almost literally) turning to goop between my ears, just like my parents warned me about…. except it’s not cartoons melting my brain, it's the never ending onslaught of 15 second reels on Instagram! The real wakeup call was when, one evening after everyone had gone to bed, I got a surprise notification from my phone, alerting me that my screentime was higher than average. I clicked it and nearly shit a brick. That particular day, I had doom scrolled for seventeen hours straight. I looked at my average screentime and realized my average was twelve to fifteen hours of mind-numbing scrolling per day. That's when I knew I needed to change.

It's been a few months now of dedicated effort and I am happy to announce that my daily average has dropped from twelve to fifteen hours of scrolling to three to four hours a day (my goal is an hour or less a day). If you look at my digital wellbeing app, it says 9 hours of screentime total, but the majority of that is actually podcast episodes playing in the background while I work (or solfreggio frequency music at bedtime).

I have learned quite a lot about myself, the human mind, and even spirituality as a whole during all this nonsense. Essentially, I have found myself needing to start back at square one. It's like I've deep fried my brain so thoroughly that I ctrl + z'ed all the psychic work I've done over my entire eighteen year career as an occultist. I have cut myself off at the knees and rendered myself a focus-less little worm! The crazy part is, I didn't even know what I was doing until it was too late. Thankfully, I have kept journals this whole time and have a lovely library of books, so my mind and spirit are swiftly on the mend.

However, I fear that I am not the only person this has happened to and I worry about the impacts this will have on younger and less experienced practitioners… as well as the magick community as a whole.

I have never been shy to say that I think theres some serious bullshit going on within the new age/occult/magick neck of the woods. Grifters, misinformation, racists, unchecked mental illness, etc…. the list goes on. Despite all this, and despite my open criticisms, these are still my people (minus the racist new agers obviously) and I feel a duty to my community. Hopefully, by sharing my experiences and thoughts, I can help get others out of this same spiral.

…But I digress. Returning to my personal scrolling habits of the past year, there is one type of content that sticks out among all the rest. This category of content hunts me in the night, like a wild beast. Avoiding it has never worked and escape from it is entirely futile. No matter what I do, no matter how many new accounts I make, it finds me. It follows me.

That's right….. I'm talking about short-form new age and witchcraft content. Tarot readers, light language healers, pet psychics, gurus, shamans, girl bosses, anti vaxx herbalists, and more. A parade of strange characters with enchanting makeup, lavish alters, and thousands of dollars worth of crystal jewelry telling me how to fix my life.

Before my spiral into a depressive quagmire, I would always hit ‘not interested’ on this content, regardless of who or what it was. I would block indiscriminately. I just didn't want to see it. To me, my faith and spirituality is not something that can be summed up in 30 seconds. I have always been self-led, I staunchly believed that I did not need anyone to educate me on my own path via tik toks and reels. However, one day, in a moment of despair I stumbled across a reel that blew that opinion to bits.

The creator Francesca from LimitlessLivingFit (whomst I still follow to this day, actually) posted a general reading for her collective. Compelled by something unknown to me, I stayed and I listened. I do not remember the specifics, but I do recall her mentioning that something I was manifesting would come to fruition. She mentioned birds and four leaf clovers. This video resonated with me deeply, but I was unsure why. Later that day, I was on the bus heading to class and, inexplicably, found myself kicked off the bus. The bus driver asked me to get off the bus, as it was broken down. Confused, I said okay and got off. The bus drove away without me. I watched it drive away, still full of riders and very much not broken down, extremely bewildered by the interaction. A little bird flew over to me and landed so close to me in a patch of clovers. It looked at me with a sort of knowing in its little eyes so I decided to sit and relax in the shadey clover patch. It was a hot day and I had not been outside much, due to being a fulltime student and slave to my university. Class wasn't supposed to start for an hour or so anyways, so I had plenty of time to spare.

As I sat, the bird sang in the tree above my head and I thought of Francesca and her message. In all my years of life, I had only ever found one singular four leaf clover. I had been a young child, climbing a tree on summer's day. I had slipped and fell to the ground (not a far fall, but enough to knock the wind out of me). When I sat up, there it was, almost spotlighted before me. Of course I picked it and saved it in a frame for many years until I taped it inside my second grimoire (my very first one was, unfortunately, destroyed by an abusive man. That's a story for a different blog post).

Remembering this, my gaze shifted towards the patch of clovers I was sitting in. It wouldn't hurt to look, maybe this instagram psychic was right. I said to myself that if I found a four leaf clover, I would rethink my jaded opinion of short form spiritual content and strive to be more open minded.

Well, I didn't find one four leaf clover…. I found four four leaf clovers. I was so overcome with shock and excitement that I began laughing madly and made a B-Line for class. I immediately proceeded to show all of my colleauges (who were much less estatic than I was, yet impressed nonetheless). I went home that night and utilized these four clovers in a ritual. In which I spoke fairly directly with Hekate and she told me, in so many words, that there are many avenues for spirits to communicate, the internet being one.

However, she warned me that, while some online psychics are worth listening to (like Francesca, in my case), not all of them are worth my time. She also warned me that the internet is imperfect and thus not a replacement for doing the actual work myself.

In true, mortal fashion, I did not listen to this warning. I thought I had listened, but in reality I had not. I became obsessed and found myself taking nearly everything I saw at face value. I stopped reading my own cards, I stopped reading my books. I just consumed reel after reel. It felt fulfilling at first! Why read a book when you can absorb everything you need in 30 second bursts?

Eventually, though, I found myself heavily parasited. I mean heavily parasited. Like the spiritual equivalent to a stray puppy lost in the woods, covered in fleas and ticks. It got to the point where my home had become like a whirlwind of spirit activity. Hekate, thankfully, in Her limitless patience and grace, came to me once more during a meditation and basically said “I told you so, dumbass”.

Essentially, I had left myself wide open. I had been energetically engaging with hundreds (maybe even thousands) of people and spirits via the internet, while simultaneously doing Jason Miller's Spirit Feast rite on the regular (side note, this ritual is awesome if you have adequate spiritual hygeine). It was like I had spiritually opened all the doors and windows to my house and doxxed myself. Entities from all over the place were coming in. It got to the point where even friends and relatives who weren't sensitive to spirits at all could tell something was going on. Shit got scary when I started trying to fight back with cleansings and banishment. It was like spraying a hornets nest with windex.

We ended up moving from that house and thankfully nothing followed us (I made sure of it). I started being more mindful of spiritual hygeine, however I was still engaging with my instagram feed unscrupulously. Months went by and I stopped working at my altar all together. I stopped speaking with my gods directly, in favor of the quick little “channeled message from your spirit guides" tarot readings. I found myself becoming obsessed with ‘the signs’, looking for confirmation everywhere. I impulsively did divination for the sole purpose of double, triple, quadruple checking what these online readers were saying.

Was I going to be cancer free forever? Was someone doing evil magick against me? Was I going to start making tons of money selling my art? Was I going to have an accident?

Eventually, I became so deluded in my thinking that I believed that I knew all the answers while simultaneously being so anxious and paranoid that I, quite literally, poisoned my personal tarot deck to the point where I cannot read with it at all anymore. I could feel my gods and my ancestors practically screaming at me to listen to them, to let go, to sit in nature and meditate. They warned me that this window of opportunity was closing. I did not listen.

Then, my cancer came back. My faith was shaken harder than it ever has been before. I was so sure that it would never come back, that I was in the clear, that I had simply willed myself back to health completely. I mean, the tarot readers on instagram had told me so! Why would they lie to me?

I turned away from the spiritual for a while. Not because I no longer believed (obviously, or I wouldn't be writing this right now), but because I was slapped in the face by reality. (Yes, for those who are astrologically-inclined, this absolutely lined up with Neptune moving into Aries lol). The cycle, which I had so desperately been wanting to escape had once again repeated and I had no one to blame but myself…. and this time, shit was getting very serious.

However, the cool thing about cycles is that they repeat so we can always learn and do better the next round. I have broken many cycles in my life already, I know how to do it, I just need to actually do it.

So now, here I am with my stage IV cancer diagnosis during my first Saturn return, taking another ride around this goofy ass carousel. I've got a few more rides left in me, if necessary, but it's quite literally do or die right now. To break this cycle, I need to get off and stay off the ride for good. Break the pattern today, or it will repeat tomorrow. I do not know what my future holds, but I know that fixating on it will only cause me issues. I've had to practice letting go of expectations and letting go of my desire for control. Now that I know this, I can feel that this time is going to be different.

So why the hell am I telling you all this?

I know that I am not the only one who’s seeing these posts online. Also, I know that for many people this content is their first exposure to these topics. I feel like this is potentially dangerous from an energetic persepective as well as a psychological one. If you begin your practice based on short form spiritual content, without learning about proper spiritual hygeiene and the power of discernment, you may find yourself in hot water sooner rather than later. Depending on who you are listening to, you might not have the skills to get yourself out of it either. There is so much misinformation and bad advice online in general, not just with witchcraft.

The only way to combat this and to avoid the spiral that I've described for you is through media literacy and practicing discernment.

What is discernment? This is a word I see get tossed around occasionally within witchcraft that, sometimes, can feel a bit loaded. I've seen and heard people using it as a way to posture themselves as superior to others by saying things like “Oh, you lack discernment in your practice”.

Discernment is, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, “the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently”. I.e. my lack of discernment led me to spiral out of control mentally and caused me and my family energetic harm.

Discernment is not intuitive. We are not born knowing how to do it. That is why children easily trust and believe what we tell them. It is something that one develops over time through our experiences and mistakes. Do not kick yourself for making mistakes! Sometimes you've just gotta fuck around and find out. However, that won't stop me from trying to help by sharing my experiences.

There are many ways to practice discernment. If you are familiar with christian ideology, you may already know about it. It applies here too, for the most part. As with all things spiritual, the most important thing is to slow down, meditate, and listen to the wisdom of your intuition. It all starts with knowing one's self. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses, as well as really contemplating your own beliefs and moral framework will help give you the tools to know when something is actually aligned with you.

It is so easy to mistake emotional reactions for alignment. This, again, boils down to understanding yourself. At risk of sounding like a broken record, you simply cannot adequately practice magick if you are not dedicated to the process of knowing yourself and the boundaries of your mind.

Once you have some capacity of self understanding, the next step is to look very clearly at the evidence before you. Read between the lines. Is the person in this video saying things that are too good to be true? Do their videos seem super rehersed, like they're trying to sell you something? Is what they are saying actionable? And, perhaps most importantly, do they want you to just trust them blindly, or do they encourage you to ask questions? This applies to both people and spirits.

Finally, the ability to weigh your choices against your core values is an important skill to cultivate alongside of discernment. We may see someone online promoting some sort of product. It may feel very urgent, like we need this product right now because it will make us a better witch or something. Perhaps this product is culturally significant to a tradition that you are not privy to (such as Native American spirituality or a Pan-African tradition). Your moral compass tells you that you respect other cultures and do not appropriate traditions you're not trained in. Despite the urgency and the temptation presented by the influencer, you are able to say no because what they are promoting does not align with your beliefs.

Finally, the ability to listen the first time is another vastly important skill. This one is probably the hardest one to learn. If I had simply listened to Hekate and my guides the first time, perhaps things would have gone differently. Who's to say, really. When someone much wiser, knowledgeable, and more experienced than you gives you advice or a warning, however, it is important to at least try and listen. At the very least, consider it, contemplate it, and, as stated before, weigh it against your own personal beliefs. It might end up being the wrong advice, but it's still worth taking the time to think about it.

Remember, these are all skills that one cultivates over a lifetime- discernment, intuition, and magick. There is no finish line where you gradutate from having 0% discernment to 100% discernment. It is a lifelong endeavor that takes time and practice.

I truly hope this was both an enjoyable and helpful read for you all. I feel a great sense of contentment and satisfaction at being able to write again. I have always loved writing and I have also always loved magick and the occult! Having the free time to write for personal enjoyment once more is truly a gift and I am honored to be able to share it with you all.

Please leave a comment if you feel so inclined! Share my blog with a friend too.

Thank you all, and I'll see you in the next one.

Sigrid